Visit to the doctors office

We took Arianna this afternoon to get her varicella (chickenpox) vaccine. I was really nervous about it so Robert went with me. Thanks honey! Arianna was already cranky on the way to the doctors because she is working on getting another tooth, so I knew she would be a mess after the shot. She cried and wasn't very happy when she had to go back in her carseat. We stopped and got her some french fries and a shake but she was only into eating 2 french fries then fell asleep. She is sleeping right now and I'm constantly checking on her. They said to keep an eye out for any fevers or rash, which can be anytime up to a month after vaccination...WOW...thats a long time to look for side effects. I guess it just takes a long time for the immune system to react to the vaccine. I'm still very anxious even though everyone tells me I shouldn't be. I have cried more today than I have in awhile, which I'm trying to understand why. I know I should be jumping up and down with excitement that Arianna was able to get these vaccines but I'm just more nervous than anything. I keep getting nervous that she is taking such a long nap, her breathing is shallow, etc. What is my problem?!?!?! Why can't I just enjoy life and not worry about all these things!!! Even the nurse giving the shot kept reassuring me that Arianna has good t-cell function and I should really try to find peace with that. It's hard because we're not just dealing with her immune system but her lungs and I know right now her lungs need to heal. No, I don't want to keep her in a bubble, but I also don't want to have her in the hospital every month. Everyone comments on how well she is doing and that is contributed to her being home most of the time. It's like people don't get it sometimes. They think just because she is doing well at home she would do well out in public. I get her out from time to time. We go to the pet store, Target, walgreens, families houses, restruants (okay only a few times), but I'm just not comfortable taking her everywhere. Why do I still feel so different? Why does my heart ache so much for my little girl? Why am I sitting here crying, when I should be happy that Arianna IS doing so well. I don't expect any of you to answer these questions I guess for once I felt like I need to get my true feelings out.