Thursday, April 2, 2009

Holland Moms

At the new church I attended this past Sunday I snagged a book with a list of different groups who meet outside of church. I came across a group called, "Holland Moms" and immediately knew what kind of group this was. Some of you might have already read this, but for those who have not please read this poem.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
This group is filled with women just like myself who were expecting to go on that trip to Italy but ended up in Holland.
I was a little unsure about going since it was at a restaurant but sometimes you have to just take that leap of faith and do things that are outside your comfort zone. Well I'm so glad I did because I had the best time. We stayed for 2 1/2 hours and the time literally flew by. They meet once a month for dinner to talk about whatever is going on in your life. We talked about feedings, surgeries, doctors, therapy, respite care, you name it. My favorite thing about this group of women is they are all Chrisitian women. I am already excited to go again next month! :) Plus, getting out of the house for some me time felt SO GOOD!

7 comments:

Pam said...

Welcome to the world of sneakers! All those cute little sandals for the summer are not for our little sweeties! It kills me to put Madison in a cute little sundress and then put on sneakers. I do sneak in a little sandal time every once in a while but keep shoes on most of the time. In the long run it makes my life easier as I get better sleep and so does she when the legs are not hurting.
Maybe the comment about future surgery is just because her muscles are so lax it makes for bad support to her knees, hips and back. When the muscles are lax they move around in weird and abnormal ways. Sometimes that can cause damage and someday she may need intervention but hey we all might need it someday!
Enjoy the good report!
Take care,
Pam

Kathy said...

OH...how cool is that?!?!
I'd love to meet with a bunch of Holland moms...where the heck are they here??? I guess I need to start my own group.
wish you lived closer!

The Portas said...

Oh how wonderful! I want some Holland moms, too. Well, tangible ones, would be nice. :) I wish I could take all of my heart mamas and move them to Mpls. Yeah, because it's such a desirable place to want to move. :)

Glad you had a good time! xo

Unknown said...

I am so glad you were able to get out with some other women and have a nice time. It does the body good.
Have a great week.

The Watson Family said...

The group sounds amazing. I have that Holland story in one of Maddie's scrapbooks, and I refer back to it occassionally. It is such a true story isn't it?
Thanks for sharing and I am glad you have found this group.
Arianna is adorable as always. Give her a big squeeze from me!!
Love & Hugs,
Nicole Watson
www.caringbridge.org/visit/maddisonwatson

Mami Adame said...

Had never heard of Holland moms. Thanks for sharing...need to find some around here too!

Andrea said...

That group sounds wonderful. I'm so glad you took the leap of faith and went! Will you go back every month?